As I look deep into this mirror, my heart rate increases. I don’t resonate with this person. The harder I try to look the less I see. My heart drops. My spirit sinks. I want to face her. Tell her I’m sorry. Tell her she has tears in her eyes. That she should not cry. because she was going to be ok. Even though her spirit felt neglected her soul was not. That she had me. That together we would glow and blind the sun. That together we would shake the would to its freaking core. We would bring our fears to their freaking knees.

While gazing still, I see myself in my eyes. I am in love with myself. And with my heart, I am learning persistence. The way the seasons come and go. As if they never came. As I go back and forth on these roads. To find me in new time zones, phrases, and goals.

I look at myself more, hoping to find a glimpse of me that once existed. Not this shell of a person, not this empty skin that had no soul underneath. I see my beauty. I see my flaws. I see fear. I get lost inside a loop of good memories. One day they were the best days of my life. The more I peer into the darkness, the brighter the world becomes. The slower my heartbeats. the deeper my breaths become. The more I look, the less afraid I become. Of the stranger before me.

Suddenly, I gain more control. Of my thoughts, and chaos. I am calmer. And the world stopped. I could count my heartbeat after the other. This time there is rhythm. There is calm. And I smile.